There is only one thing to do when you are dying of a broken heart. Work. Work harder and harder. This is the time to accomplish pushed aside goals. Eventually time does the rest. I will start to work from home again and all hours. Today I just have to stay in bed. Today I cannot breathe or feel. Numb.
My most recent ex sent me a three sentence email about how she was not ready for me to be gone. But you tell me, if all you have to say is three statements I would speculate you are more ready than you think. <weak smile>. I have to get going because she will take her car back soon and she will go on and probably give it back to her ex and that will be really hard on me. Not the car but the ex. I have my own cars. For several reasons I just do not want to share that pain or the pain I have carried really the course of this relationship. All I can try and do is be still now and hope one day someone will want to be with me minus unattractive psycho sisters, young women calling my job and someone who is not carrying every hurt they have experienced in life and putting it on me. Why can't people utilize psychotherapy when needed I wonder. But then I didn't know once I could use it.
I have to give up hopes of a two parent family for the child I am trying to conceive but "sweet child to be", please know I tried everything to create you out of love with someone else, another Mom. This however, has given me an idea. I will write my "children to be" letters. It is a way I can stay positive and a way they will know how much I loved and wanted to have them. That can keep me busy too......
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